hopefully 

ok 

this was taken because (fill in the blank). 

rabbit 

180

this is so freaking weird right now. i'm in the serf's (tom) living quarters watching seinfeld. we are basically looking like two of the gayest people you've ever met. on our laptops on his futon thing. its really bad. saw carrie and karen and lacey tonight. and his landlords (roommates) are upstairs with a blender on and stomping with their stupid heels on the floors. i feel bad for that kid.

lunch at thunderbird was heaven. karen's place is really nice. tomorrow will be more of the same.

and kim prolly won't read this anytime soon, but i love her and miss her.

who are you talking to? no one . . .

odd i got nothing to say

tom doesn't think that this stuff is. he liked the reverend story, but everyone seemed to enjoy that. things are going good though. spent yesterday with the fam and kri. then the night with tom and ryan doing the usual: bowling, then sitting around asking each other what we were going to do. went over to CU in the morning and as usual, it was pretty beautiful. funny that pretty much everyone i know has gone there and/or graduated as well. and here i am praying i get into the place. so amazing as usual. my eating is actually pretty well under control. of course i've had a little bit more than usual, but it hasn't turned into the pandemic that i thought it would. haven't seen karen yet but hope to today or tomorrow. first few night's sleeps have been weird. really got no plans for the rest of the night or week. just doin whateva. and saw my bro too. argued about music and pretty much every other subject there is. we did agree that this one cyclist chick was hot. that's about it.

a-bomb 

bone county 

didn't quite work as planned 

GJ 

real trees 

d-town 

not nice 

crazy new school on the lake 

that about duz er 

no comparison to vesuvio's

kinda going through a weird phase where i'm sad because in my mind i think that the closer it comes to getting here, the closer it gets to just ending. this four months, i have a feeling, will fly and before i know it i'll be driving away from this huge trip i'm getting ready for. its like whenever christmas comes around i see it as so much freaking hype getting higher and higher. then it comes, then its over just like that. all that to end. i'm sure it won't actually be like this, but i wonder.

our thee year anniversary was tonight* and we ate at such the fancy little itanlian joint. my kimmers surprised me with what apparently is my christmas present since i thought the pen was my real anniversary gift. which is why i'm up right now at 4:30 gettin all my songs transferred. and i know what some think out there; that its just a trendy little overpriced mp3 player where cheaper ones would do just as good, maybe better, and includes a dumb pair of little earbuds. but i do like it and thinks its pretty sweet. and i'm usually the last person to ever upgrade to the latest and greatest in tech. either way, its the best present ever and she's outdone me once again.

=w=eezer at the pepsi center? i hope they can fill it. sadly gonna miss it though.

i work tomorrow from 1700-0100. its gonna suck. i think my people have something up their sleeves that they will try and surprise me with. feel bad though because that means they are gonna have to stick around till 1700 and most leave at like 1500 on fridays. (aren't i badass by using military time?) and i'm gonna have to put on a huge grin like i'm so happy they did what they did or surprised me with a goodbye. its not that i'm not happy about it, just not good at giving the expressions they would want from me.

i've had enough of all this goodbye business. no one likes them, so why do em? oh well.

*not really

my wife is too amazing. now everyone say in their heads, "that boy doesn't deserve her." 

7 days (or maybe 5) 

my new friend parker 

HOLD THE PHONE!!!!

BREAKING NEWS WITH AMERICA'S WAR ON TERRORISM!!! that osama character is gonna be toast now! click to read more.

bush's stratergery is summed up in the second to last paragraph.

you don't need cnn, you need me

what a day. basically today was her mini-birthday since i'll be in arlington, virginia that day we would normally be eating a fancy dinner for her real one. started with a pretty nice early morning rise. actually we just layed in bed for like 2 hours thinking about getting up. when we finally did, we headed for sweet tomato's, porked out on that all-u-can-eat scrumptiousness, then got back on the freeway to slc. there we parked and headed straight to my pen shop for round 3 with those homos (1 being with kristen to scope it out, 2 being rejected by early closing hours and a pissed off ethan). after viewing about 10 pens, signing my name and writing 'hello' two dozen times, it came down to two fine writing instruments: a silver cross or black parker. who cares about specifics and what i liked about each. i ended up getting the parker and now couldn't be happier! it is so freaking amazing and completes everything for this trip. well, not quite. anyways, this ended up being my anniversary gift from the lovely (and very understanding for letting me get this unneeded extravagance!) wife.

from there we walked for about a half an hour around the city, were stopped by some missionaries (big surprise), and went to the observation deck of the church headquarters building which was really fascinating actually. great views of slc all around and a pretty cool guy who worked there and could tell you ten facts about any building you pointed to. he looked old enough to be one of the original pioneers, which could be how he knew so much. i enjoyed talking to him however. we even strolled over to brigham young's grave which i think is pretty interesting regardless of what faith you are. buried around him was somewhere around nine of his wives (no joke). and i know he had a lot more than that. these must have been his favorites i guess.

after our day of exploring slc, we headed home in time for my 5:30 appointment with jax. and i know we've had our differences, but she is an arteest if i ever saw one. my hair looks freaking rad! its gonna be sad leaving my new stylist for four months now. after that wonderful experience kim and i strolled a few blocks from our place to pier 69 sourdough sf pizza or something like that for some out of this world good pizza/garlic bread/drinks/championship little league on espn. sad to be leaving that now too. finally, it was off to our casa for some more mini-birthday gift giving. got her a dvd (my trademark) (the notebook) (why only have two sets of parenthesis in a row?), a crappy cd (ana nalick?), and the finest perfume this side of the english channel (very damn sexy). next week we'll be doing our mini-anniversary celebration.

all my work of losing weight has pretty much been shot to hell these last few days. i've skipped running every other night and made up for it by eating a ton more it seems. from here on out, i've gotta focus like no other to keep it going. despite eating about three or four servings of food every meal, i'm still miraculously under 170 (barely). so i figure i can get back down to about 163 by the end of this coming week.

jessIE should be in ohio by now visiting her sis that just had a kid. she's actually there to basically take care of her sister's kids, but its totally good for her cuz she had a freaking looong summer of school and intern crap. and she has a crappy job.

i'm sure you are all following the stuff going down in iraq right? let's see, soldiers are dying and there is a good chance that voters will reject the constitution that bush is crossing his fingers on. the country is basically turning into three states, each ran by the kurds, shiites, and sunnis. and yes hussein was a bad boy, but he did rule that dump a little better (in some ways) that a lot of other islamic-run countries so long as you didn't dis mr. mustache. but if you turn this country into just another islam run nation, what happens with the rights of women? down the freaking drain, that's where. oh and don't forget that our soldiers are getting blown to pieces all so rich guys in sheets can argue about who gets the oil. don't count on us getting any, that's fo sho. and is it me or have we just kinda forgotten about that one guy. remember the one that send nyc ablaze? no, that wasn't saddam. oh well. guess the plan is to just wait for him to do something else crazy and kill us all, then we'll put all our attention on him again. for now we must stay in iraq and secure the peace against the people killing us who want us gone. riiiight. and for my readers who could even care less about the world, israel's pullout from gaza is pretty significant. not everyday that such a change in the world's landscape takes place. no offense to christians/jews/muslims, but jerusalem is the biggest hassle, um, pretty much of all time (next to religion in general). here's my thoughts and brief history as i care to know it: we (as in governments) all have land today because for the most part, we killed other people for it. this feud dates back thousands of years and has switched hands probably on average of once every 4 months. that's just how life goes. so who was there first? i'm pretty sure it was the jews since they were around a thousand years before mohammad, but then wars and crap kicked them out. then we kicked out the arabs and the jews killed them all and took over after ww2. since then, the palestinians want their land back and are willing to put up a fight for it, so i say let them. why the hell not? its how the world works. we wouldn't have our land if we didn't kill our own brothers in red and slaughter all the natives. and if the jews don't want to give it back, then that's fine too. if no one wants peace, we just gotta sit back and watch it unfold and let the best religion win. and we shouldn't pick sides either cuz its all too complicated for anyone to actually know which is right. but there is nothing wrong with taking bets though. since its all religous fluff in the middle of it, let God decide the winner, not us. whoever wins the ultimate war must have God on their side right? in fact, i'm surprised no other islamic countries haven't supported palestine more. my theory is that they are too scared cuz israel has u.s. support and no one can match that. that is until iran figures out where their blue wires go for their nukes. and just think, we'll all be alive someday to see all of this. i'll have my camera ready when this world goes to hell and back. but then again, what do i know? i'm a mormon democrat so don't listen to me.

my cutoff from the world is still going good. it will end wednesday i think.

p.s. your message cheered me up. still not gonna answer though. =)

before 

during 

after . . . just wait

too much 3EB

today should be a fun filled day of, well, fun filled things i guess. gonna finally get my pen i've been wanting forever now. and sweet tomato's. and the after of the pic above. last night i lost all control and ate: 1. very healthy tv dinner thing; 2. little sandwich and goodies at a wedding we had to go to; and 3. triple play and drinks galore at chili's. oops. so i'll probably be on a week long fast to make up for it. speaking of chili's, saw rhett (jessIE's hub) last night as usual at chili's (his place of occupation). he looked over at us but didn't recognize me. and i'm always too chicken to ever say hi. anyways, that's all i have to say about that. in fact, i really don't have much to say about anything right now.

i'm gonna copy matt's idea this once and put up my 25 most played songs on iTunes. these are out of all my songs over the course of many months and in no way reflects what i really listen to. some of these (most of these) are songs that kim has just put on repeat which screws up my totals, but what can ya do? so enjoy.

1. The Background - Third Eye Blind. play count: 12
2. The Red Summer Sun - Third Eye Blind. 10
3. Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World. 9
4. Good For You - Third Eye Blind. 9
5. Busted Stuff - Dave Matthews Band. 8
6. Where Are You Going - Dave Matthews Band. 8
7. Carnegie Blues - Duke Ellington. 8
8. Mr. Brightside - The Killers. 8
9. Stand By Me - Oasis. 8
10. Konstantine - Something Corporate. 8
11. Anything - Third Eye Blind. 8
12. 10 Days Late - Third Eye Blind. 8
13. Losing A Whole Year - Third Eye Blind. 8
14. How's It Going To Be - Third Eye Blind. 8
15. London - Third Eye Blind. 8
16. Motorcycle Drive By - Third Eye Blind. 8
17. Trompe Le Monde - The Pixies. 7
18. Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band. 7
19. So Much to Say - Dave Matthews Band. 7
20. Table For Glasses - Jimmy Eat World. 7
21. Deep Inside of You - Third Eye Blind. 7
22. An Ode to Maybe - Third Eye Blind. 7
23. Camouflage - Third Eye Blind. 7
24. Narcolepsy - Third Eye Blind. 7
25. Jumper - Third Eye Blind. 7

9 days . . . 

not much, but some change 

if i don't let myself by happy now, then when? if not now when?

Sideways (2004): took a while to see what the big hype was all about. got really gay after a while. had a ton of potential, but their acting was sometimes so unbelievable. eh, bad i guess. i saw a lot of ryan and i in the story. prolly not worth seeing though cuz most can't stand ryan and i together. sorry, cuz i'm sure a ton of people really thought this movie was great. don't see.

House of Flying Daggers (2004): a little less believable than hero and cthd. so hard to believe that these movies are coming out of this country which is slowly become the new bad guy. not as dramatic and fast-paced as the others. music not as memorable. good sound fx though. kinda confused by what mei did and the whole ending. don't see.

what a shitty 24 hours. haven't had this bad a day in months it seems. i don't feel like rehashing all the crappy events on here, but its been bad. done with school. my final for gov. was a lot of work, but i'm pretty sure i did good. i've decided that for the next week i'm gonna cut myself off from the rest of the world. my life revolves too much around my computer and communicating through it. just want some time alone i guess from the outside. so no aim, yahoo messenger, msn messenger, text messages, cell phone calls, land line calls, or emails. i'll read whatever i get, but won't respond or sign in to any of the programs. just gonna do it for a week. i'll think of it as a mini vacation before the real one. i'll still post on here, so if you care what i'm doing, just check back here every now and then.

my plans between now and then are pretty much nothing. prolly lots of sleep and maybe getting back into san andreas. i've taken some time off of that over the past few weeks to focus on exercising and scanning pics. had to say bye to jess today which wasn't that great. and the weather outside is very fitting for my mood these days. went running last night, and kept running, and kept running some more. not sure how far i went, but it was far. in fact, weighed myself last night at 161. hard to believe. in fact, i don't think believe it. i've dropped like 14 pounds, but i don't know where they fell from. pretty much every part of me is as fat as ever. i feel bad cuz i went to applebee's this afternoon and went wild on food. tonight's dinner is gonna be like an apple now (i hope).

for some random reason, i've started playing solitaire on my comp. i'll get in about 40 games a day and i'm trying to see if in the long run it goes in your favor as far as winning money. but like most games, the odds are against me it seems. i'm currently -$814. and its not like i'm a bad solitaire player. i do know how to play and try to figure out strategies (i don't think this game is all luck). i'll keep trying for the next week though and see if i can break this losing streak.

for those that care, i've stopped going to my doctors. stopped a couple months ago actually. i learned a lot going and i think it really helped. sadly though i don't think i can go off of the medication. i'm just too screwed up to handle my life without it.

on a lighter note, i'm practically all set for the trip. all i need are shoes and an umbrella which i'll buy both from tom in denver. oh yeah, and cotton swabs. trying to find a new template for my blog, but to no avail. took a steaming hot bath last night and started reading a new book. that's it.

13 days . . . 

won't miss dumb people

for the second time this semester, this retard in class has asked me if i got a new laptop and if i like it or not. but i can barely hear him each time he has asked, so i’ll say, “do i like my laptop?” and he will just look at me and kind of mumble something. so i assume that is what he is asking.

an officer from last night at work (who i will not mention here) displayed his idiocy once again. he was all excited and read this looong chain email to me about how captain kangaroo was this huge war hero from iwo jima and how mr. rogers was a navy seal in vietman, killed around 25 VC, and uses his sweaters to cover up his tattoos from his war days. he was so proud of these guys being so brave and heroic. so i go online afterward and see that this chain mail is just more crap being sent around and is totally bogus. i think captain k was in some war, but for the most part, it was all BS. i wished someone could go in and burst his bubble, but i’m too nice i guess. oh well. mr. “i can see satan in the eyes of the clinton’s” will just have to live his little naïve life. won’t be missing officer stockwell when i’m gone. oops. i’ll tell you who i will miss though: kim, jonas, jessIE, ma, em, sena, lloyds, kelly, cory, justin, jay, and adam. i won't miss my professor stott because he is incompetent and the biggest slacker i know. certainly won't miss our neighbors upstairs who can die for all i care. won't miss the 13 car dealerships i pass on my way to school. won't miss emily and max's breakup cycle. i will miss my little doggy scooter (mom's dog actually). won't miss school and being given the run-around because it seems to be an impossible task for all these college educated administrators to give me 8 simple credits of internship. my job: take a stab at that one. miss my bed and my plant. won't miss utah, but i think i'll miss utah. figure that one out. my nights are gonna become pretty restless over the next two weeks just because i’ve got so much on my mind as i just lay there.

so here are some of the great comments that mr. laptop mumbler said in class today: (i should have been doing this all semester, but that would have required me to stay awake each time)

(in the middle of the professor's lecture) “yeah i was gonna ask about that.”
“and i think a part of it too is . . ." (gets cut off by prof.)
“now that we are in [iraq], how do we establish the borders? is it going to change?”
“how does pension work?” (while we were talking about congressional reelections)
“the exam will have matching, but at the end will there be supreme court cases like all the other tests?” (we haven’t talked about supreme court cases in months and only the first exam had them)

besides his stupid comments, it was pretty much a wasted class today. just snoozed in the back row as usual.

1938-2005 

he was my fav

peter jennings is dead.

is this trip becoming overrated?

The Great Gatsby (1974): i've seen it before waaaay back in high school after we had to read the book. or was it middle school? anyways, throughout the years i'd kinda forgotten both the book and movie. thought i'd take another stab at it. i didn't like the fact that they played all eight songs from the 20's that we are all familiar with today. would have been nice to play some lesser known music. its pretty bad when you can see the camera's shadow moving along the walls and ground. and gatsby was mr. fashion wearing those pink suits. or he was just gay. such the trend setter. acting was pretty amazing. i guess i recall the book being much better. the end is a lot like american beauty strangely. a pretty sad movie cuz the bad guys won. see it only cuz the story is great.

How Green Was My Valley (1941): took forever to get to the point. must have originally been a novel cuz its pretty boring. not that all adaptations from books are boring, but its just got that feel for it. no one would just come up with this story for a movie. that's actually all i wrote about this movie in my little movie notebook. yes people, i have a movie notebook. anyways, had to watch it for my class and it won best picture forever ago. really boring and took all my strength to finish it. its about this welsh community that goes through tough times. the end. don't see.

when i'm filthy rich and have tons of time on my hands, (which will most likely be never) i want to go back to school and get a degree in statistics and maybe a foreign language. doesn't matter which language. maybe a euro language so i can go there and not feel like a retarded tourist. and as far as stats go, i'll still stick with my previous statement of statisticians being a worthless profession, but its really interesting for me at least. i'm all about math, but would never want to get into really high levels of it. and i figure with my ocd, stats would do me well.

i've decided to take my snowboarding stuff to dc with me because a. three hours from dc are some ski resorts and it would be cool to say i've boarded in virginia, and b. i'll need it for when i come come to denver this december cuz you know i'll be riding up a storm then. gonna take up a ton of room, but totally worth it.

also decided to grow a beard for the next two weeks. why you ask? because first of all i can, and second this is my last chance to not shave for some time. i don't think the good senator would appreciate me sporting some fine looking mutton chops. speaking of, i'm gonna be daring and have jax do my hair and maybe highlight it. watch for it.

my growing pile of stuff to take 

he loves bags 

people of my city, i give you gary numan

in gov today, right in the middle of this pretty complex lecture on monetary policy and all the nuances of the fed, some freaking retard asks if there is already money in atm machines. she seriously wanted to know where that money came from. not like if it comes from the federal reserve banks or the people’s deposited money, but basically if money just magically appears or if it goes through some tunnel from a bank to the machine. our professor said it was elves that keep it stocked and just went on with the lecture. she is probably the stupidest person i’ve ever had the pleasure of being around. she’s asked a ton more questions that are just as bad, but i can’t remember them now.

so a few days closer now. getting kinda scared for two reasons. the first is that i’ve been doing fairly well from not shoveling pounds of food in my mouth and exercising. worried though, that when i get to colorado, all that will go to hell and i’ll be living at chipotle and rock bottom. and like i’m gonna take the time to exercise when i’m out. the second concern is once i get to dc. starting to realize how much i’m gonna have to do while i’m there. my list, far from exhaustive, includes writing an 8 page paper on my internship in order to get credit, writing my personal statement letter for law schools, and applying to all the law schools. oh yeah, and i’ll be studying and taking the lsat the first week of october, which by the way is most likely the single most important test i’ll take in my life. of course i’m not studying now, nor will i be studying in colorado. i’m hoping to just cram like mad for that first month i’m out there and pray i do alright. if i don’t feel like i’m up for it, i guess i can take it in december. but that would suck too. and on top of that, i’ve got more stuff to see than i think four months will allow.

bought a sweet mouse for my laptop finally and i’m bidding on a cool surge protector online. things are really getting down to the wire.

now we got this faggot in the class who is criticizing john kerry for marrying a woman whose company she is affiliated with has “90%” of their company outsourced. like kerry had anything to do with how they’ve decided to run their business. i hate, absolutely hate these idiots in class. and this is only the tip of the ice burg. people make the stupidest comments i have ever heard. so many times i just want to get up and leave but i have nothing else better to do i guess. actually, i'm still reading america: the book, which happens to be the funniest book ever written.

17 days . . .

at least i'm not dying of dysentery

nothing is going on. i mean nothing. school is winding down finally. only three more days of bankruptcy and three days of government. work is doing the same with only 5 working days between now and when i leave, totaling only 27 measly hours. each night i run and lift my little weights and do lots of sit ups or crunches or whatever it is i can barely do. i'm down to about 167 which is very wonderful i must say. the problem is that all i do throughout the day is think about how wonderful my next meal will be since i feel like i'm on the meager food rations from oregon trail. its a struggle each night to keep at it and not just slack off and go to sleep. oh yeah, and i seem to never sleep either. usually up till between 3 and 4. used to spend this time watching movies and playing gta. now its all about scanning my pictures and thinking about food while i exercise. it is working at least.

the time is soon approaching. purchased my metro pass thingamabob online a few days ago so that should be coming in the mail. did i mention i picked up a sweet coat for those snowy dc days? let me tell you how sweet it is. all i really need are new shoes which i'll pick up from tom when i'm out, a few more white button-ups, and that's about it. maybe a power strip, a pen from kim hopefully (anniversary gift), oh, and a mouse for my laptop. i gotta say, laptop mice/mouses/whatever suck. haven't found one i like.

we (as in ryan and i) are hoping to get a camping trip going for when i'm out. get tom, jer, and dust all together for maybe a new annual event? probably won't end up being annual, but this once would be good. gonna be hard to fit in with everything else going down. really wanna spend a good day with my bro and maybe go riding. so if the camping trip does go through, my bro and i will have to find some time maybe during the week to hang after work and all. we'll see. then there is karen and kristen and chipotle. so much to do as usual. only a week to fit it all in. i can't wait to move back. and i'm really hoping i get into DU. CU would be nice also, but DU i think would be fun. really love the city. so yeah, that's about it. i'm slowly getting tan and skinnier. only about a 7% change in what i actually used to look like. my gut is still as prominent as ever. but i'm happy. and let's here it for tom. the boy actually has a girlfriend for once. so everyone give him a call and congratulate him on the new miss "i love you right now."

20 days . . .